party by numbers: engagement party

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Reader Holly wrote in to get ideas and suggestions for an engagement party she's throwing for her sister and brother-in-law-to-be. We thought a Party by Numbers post would be the perfect way to get her started.

Invitation: Pick one of the invitations in our Wedding / Engagement category. If you want to make it more personalized, you can change the main image to one of the couple. Just choose any invitation with a background or color scheme that you like, then click the "Upload New Main Image" button.

Here are some important details to keep in mind:

• Mention your relationship to the bride- and groom-to-be in the invitation. Traditionally, the parents of the bride throw the engagement party, but nowadays, anything goes.
• Etiquette suggests that only wedding guests should be invited to the engagement party. There are exceptions to this rule (like if the wedding will be family only or in a far-off locale), but it's a pretty good rule to stick to in almost all cases. Make sure to get a guest list directly from the couple and/or their parents.
• Giving gifts at engagement parties is strictly optional. Don't include where the couple is registered in the invitation — let guests who want to bring a gift ask you directly.

Food and Drink: Since toasts to the couple are the main event at an engagement party, you'll want to have plenty of bubbly on hand. This can mean champagne, but if you want to save a little, cava, prosecco or any sparkling wine will do.

Stick with serving finger foods instead of a full meal. It'll promote mingling between the families and among the guests.

Special Touches: Keep the couple of honor in mind for the party décor. Adding lots of photos to tabletops is always a good bet for sprucing things up. Also incorporate things that are specific to the couple. For example, I went to an engagement party where the couple had gotten engaged in Hawaii, so the hosts pulled in subtle tropical elements — hibiscus flower arrangements and background music from The Beach Boys and the Blue Hawaii soundtrack — without going overboard on a theme.

Want even more rules of engagement? Check out our engagement party guide.