question of the week: who pays on birthdays?

One of the juiciest debates we've had on the blog so far has been about the etiquette of who should pay at a birthday dinner.

This in turn led to a big confab in the Evite offices. Here's how it all went down: Eviter Jordan likes to pay on his birthday, while Lindsay is part of a group of friends who lets the birthday person pick the place but always treats that person. For Kimberly and me, birthday bill-sharing depends on the friends, and we go with whatever flow happens to be flowing ... but occasionally grumble about it afterwards. 

So that was only part one. We haven't even begun talking about the nuances, like whether the person who does the inviting is responsible for paying. Or whether those who order the most should foot most of the bill. Or whether those who make more money should chip in extra. It's a pickle, I tell you.

So now we're taking it to the streets. Let us know your thoughts.

twiigs.com...

the nose knows: wine smelling

Wine tasting is so … 2007, non? What’s new, what’s now: wine-smelling, the very foundation of wine appreciation! Turns out it’s your schnoz, not your taste buds, that’s responsible for most of what you recognize as flavors — including those you find in wines.

But if “notes of licorice,” “undertones of bell pepper” and a “black currant finish” sound like a bunch of pretentious doublespeak to you, meet the wine aroma wheel. Developed by Ann C. Noble, a chemist and former professor from the esteemed viticulture and enology department at the University of California, Davis, the wheel is a guide to help would-be wine aficionados distinguish the aromas found in wines — so you too can speak sommelier.

cheese, glorious cheese

I'm not sure at what age it happens, but at some point our cravings turn from foods like candy to cheese. It starts slowly, with tentative nibbles of brie and cheddar, and soon you find yourself eyeing sexier cheeses and thinking, "Man, that mold looks tasty" or "Which piece has the most ash in it?" and even "You know, stilton might not actually be the worst smell ever."

Don't believe me? Put out a cheese plate at a party and prepare to see just rind and the knife the next time you walk by. Watch a cheese newbie take the whole gooey center of a triple-cream cheese and hear others gasp at the unfairness of it all. Pay close attention as people stand, toothpick at the ready, mentally calculating just how many cubes they can take without looking greedy.

Enter this luscious slate cheese board set from VivaTerra. Sure, you can put some cheeses on a plate and poke little flags into them to claim your territory and indicate what kind they are, but this is something special. A heavy, cool slate slab that comes with chalk you use to write the cheese names right on the board. I break mine out when I'm trying to set a bistro-y mood, and it always gets as many compliments as the cheeses. And yes, the included cheese knives are shaped like mice — I know!

turn party fouls into fair play

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Party lameness. It's something we all fear, whether we're hosting or attending. Sometimes it can't be helped. Someone leaves the cake out in the rain; dancing on the ceiling goes horribly awry. You just go with it as best you can.

But when the party is tanking because some guests are being antisocial or rude, we find it especially annoying. And considering that 41% of you voted this type of behavior the biggest party foul in one of our recent polls, it seems you agree.

The good thing is, it's usually fixable. Here are our best tricks for navigating choppy party waters.

The sitch: AWWWkward or dullsville conversation.
The solution: Get out of it with a short-and-sweet "Excuse me. Nice talking to you." Making up an excuse could get you caught in a lie, and it leaves you open to a repeat bore-formance by the same person later. If you've already called scene on your conversation, when you see them again, you can just smile and keep moving.

The sitch: Making introductions.
The solution: If you know you're going to be intro-ing people, some pre-party prepwork will keep you from watching conversations spiral straight into crazytown. Before the party, come up with a few interesting facts about each person, as well as some topics they have in common with other guests. And be sure to memorize the names of spouses or dates so you're not left with the "Mike aaaaaand [awkward silence]" moment.

The sitch: Rude questions or comments.
The solution: Give a funny response or a quick "No comment" and let it slide. Rudey McCreep was either clueless or trying to provoke you, and either way, an argument just isn't worth your time. And it's really not worth wrecking the party for the people around you. This one goes out to you, lady at a party who said to me, "Wow, your sweater is so ... green." And to you, guy who told me he used mnemonic devices to remember people and then told me the crude thing he associated with me. Don't go changin', kids.

you have received an evite invitation

Before I started working at Evite, I thought I was the only one who agonized over picking the perfect invitation design for my parties. But I guess I'm not alone. I always hear stories about people logging serious time in our various galleries. We have more than 700 designs to choose from, so you have tons of options. But on the other hand, you have TONS of options.

In order to help you with your endeavor of selecting an invitation, we thought you might like to know which designs get the most love. When in doubt, go with what's popular!

Let's start with You're Invited Dots (featured above). Its numbers blow away every invitation just about every week, and here's why we think it could work for you: Generic primary colors say that this invitation is perfect for either a man or a woman. Universal text could apply to everything from a birthday party to a bris (why not?) Plus, it has polka dots. Apparently I'm not the only sucker for polka dots.

question of the week: ring in spring

Is it warm where you are? Are you thawing? Spring is in the air, and on the calendar, so it's time to change up your wardrobe and the way you party. I find myself skipping the movie nights and other hibernation rituals in favor of day hikes and asking for an outside table at restaurants.

twiigs.com...

I Do (Be-Do-Be-Do): Wedding Sing-Alongs

Skip the string quartet performing Pachelbel’s “Canon.” Instead, get your guests engaged in the occasion and save cash at the same time — by inviting them to join in on your nuptials, sing-along style:

• Include the lyrics to a favorite song in the program (for my wedding, it was “That’s Amore”) and ask everyone to strike up an a cappella chorus as you walk down the aisle. Or take a cue from my friend Elizabeth and ask a few friends to lead guests in a round for the processional. “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” not quite what you had in mind? Consider Elizabeth’s choice of “Dona Nobis Pacem” (a traditional hymn, translating to “Give Us Peace”) instead.
• Friends and relatives lack the canary gene? Tape kazoos under guests’ chairs and ask a buddy to lead a kazoo choir. During our ceremony, pals on guitar and tambourine crooned “I Got You Babe” while another friend led the guests in an impressive kazoo backup. P.S. The kazoos, part of Kazoo.com’s wedding line (?!), were even imprinted with “Thanks for coming to our wedding.”
• Have your DJ or band leader announce that if guests want to get you to smooch during dinner, they have to stand up and belt out a lyric with the word “love” in it — think “Love Me Tender,” “Stop in the Name of Love,” etc.
• If your guests are the game and creative kind, you could even ask each table to make up a song about the happy couple — that’s you! — that they then perform during dinner, drumming on the table and tapping their glasses with cutlery as accompaniment.

have a ball: part 2

While sausage balls are grand, they aren’t exactly veggie-friendly. And since I’d hate to leave the vegetarians out of the ball-shaped hors d’oeuvre fun, I bring you: spinach balls.

Spinach balls, in fact, were in my life long before sausage balls. They’re basically a spinach gratin in hors d’oeuvre form and a wonderful way to trick children into liking spinach. My brother and I couldn’t understand why other kids thought spinach was gross — to us, spinach tasted a lot like butter, cheese and breadcrumbs. In other words: delicious.

cookie taste test

So you're invited to a party and decide to make chocolate chip cookies because you are that nice.

What's the next step? Do you:

1. Head to the store, buy a Toll House refrigerated log of awesomeness and eat half the unbaked cookie dough as you slice and bake your way to cheap, easy cookies?
2. Stop by any supermarket to pick up your basic ingredients — eggs, butter, chocolate chips — in whatever brands that store carries (the cheaper, the better)?
3. Go to several markets to buy high-end ingredients: gourmet chocolate chips, European-style butter, pure bourbon vanilla extract from a far-off land like Madagascar?

Here's why I'm asking. I'm an ingredient snob, loud and proud. I believe in the basic principle that good-quality ingredients add up to a better product. When I bring food to a party, it's as organic, high-end and homemade as I can make it. Invariably, I end up placing my fancypants baking creation/science experiment alongside a dish that looks like someone just took a bunch of stuff and let it melt all over a plate. And usually? People ooh and ahh equally over both dishes.

So it got me thinking. Am I wasting time, money and effort making my baking extravaganzas? I enlisted the always helpful, usually hungry Evite team to help me find out.

spread joy and brunchiness on easter

When I threw a last-minute Easter brunch a few years ago, I expected a handful of people. Instead I ended up hosting 40. Here’s how I sated the masses:

• I opted to have a potluck to keep myself from going totally insane.

• In my Evite invitation, I described what I would be serving: caramel coffee cake, fruit with fruit dip, blue cheese grits, sausage balls, orange and chocolate salad, and mimosas. I mentioned that additions such as egg dishes and anything remotely healthy would be especially appreciated. It’s good to throw out some suggestions for a brunch potluck; otherwise you’ll end up with a baked-goods extravaganza.