Love (and hiccups) in the afternoon

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I recently got sucked back into watching All My Children when an actor friend of mine booked himself a two-day trip to Pine Valley. He played a CDC expert, and, yes, one of his three lines was, “We just don’t know.” How classic is that? Sure, I’d heard that line, oh, about 6,384,226 times before on daytime TV, but to credit my friend’s acting chops, I actually believed it. And it also made me remember that while soaps might be a tad (Martin) predictable, that’s part of what makes them so gosh darn fun.

This got me thinking that a soap opera party could be just the ticket to having a totally fun and wacky get-together with your best pals ... or long-lost cousins who you thought were abducted by your amnesic grandmother who just got out of jail by dressing up as a nun. Hey, it could happen.

So read on after the jump for my tips for a good, clean (and soapy!) good time. All you need is some recorded daytime drama, tasty snacks and a rowdy cast of characters.

Before your party, either TiVo a bunch of your favorite soaps to have them at the ready, or check your local listings for a stretch of fun and appropriate viewing on SoapNet. Gather your soap viewing rations, and let’s get started!

Invite a bunch of your best friends over, and have a quickie 10-minute brainstorm session about all the lovable clichés, same ol’ plots and overused lines that soaps have recycled so much we’d swear they were written by Al Gore himself. We’ll call this list the “Usual Suspects.” Some examples:

• the line “I love you”
• any catfight scene/beeyatch slap
• a hunk takes off his shirt (I heart soaps)
• sarcastic/antagonistic laughing
• questionable paternities
• amnesia
• any instance of mistaken identity
• a dramatic breakup
• a character comes back from the dead
• an actor flubs a line
• a character faints
• a scene ending with someone on the phone, looking horrified

You get the idea. Come up with enough things to be divided equally among your guests, turn on the TV, kick back, and get ready to go! Now, depending on your thirst level, you can do a dry version or a sauced up one.

Drunk on Love in the Afternoon Party (for lushes like me)

Once everyone's got their ration of Usual Suspects, they must drink up any time one of them appears in the show. If you want to get hardcore, pick one item on each person’s Usual Suspect list, and that’s their “chugger.” Ooops, Ryan Lavery’s got amnesia again and doesn’t know who he’s in love with today .... chug that cosmo, girlfriend!!!

Dry Town Soap Opera Scavenger Hunt Party (for non-drinkers)

After you've compiled your master list of Usual Suspects, divide the list evenly among your guests. And then a hunting you will go! First one to check off every suspect on their scavenger hunt list gets first dibs at face-planting into the Häagen-Dazs.

Don’t forget to send in pics from your party so we can post them for all to see. Heck, if you’re planning on getting Häagen-Dazs Mocha Almond Fudge, I’ll come over and take the pictures for you!

Comments

This is soooo funny, I was reading the Usual Suspect List and needless to say 'Passions' has all 12! For some odd reason though I continue to stay tuned...

If you get snippets of each of different soap opera's theme songs, you could play Guess That Soap. Charades would also be hilarious.